What I already Knew

When I first revamped my blog I decided to take a mix together some of my written art with some of the writing style I had before that. In developing the new blog I felt I could develop a portfolio of the passions which are my life and my voice. I mentioned in the past that my college education was important to me as it was an accomplishment that I truly had to fight to achieve. There were many things that slowed the progress and in the end challenged me greatly. What surprised me was what I already knew.

The final few weeks of my college education brought me to an author’s writing that completely changed the meaning of my own writing as well as my college experience. Rewinding, the very start of my college experience I listened to a welcome lecture that explained and encourage life long learning. That has been a huge drive in my life since then.

The Return of My Voice

Returning to the finish of my college education, that author explained how education effects the natural writers voice in their own art. In essence my education was more of a hindrance to my art than a help. I was at that point shaken with both curiosity and understanding. Then feeling something that I already knew. I learned something that my best friend had reminded me and encouraged well before I earned my degree.

As I reinvented my website I went back to me. Although that “me” changes each day, I started at a point that I decided was me. I decided not to look at my voice as something that was created strictly by education. I was jotting down things that helped me describe that voice.

How do you actually put down on paper who you are as a writer. I can sit here and tell you about the things that I have accomplished. I can also sit here and tell you what I have done wrong in each of those things, including my to-do lists. Instead I wrote down things that I felt.

To Quote Myself

Having done that I kept it and put it as a quote on my main page. At times I still feel it a feat of vanity to have quoted myself. I know that is a practice done on a regular basis yet it was something I chose to overcome, and even take some pride in.

“Writing styles are not easy to come by, they are forged by fire, they are cooled by the tears of ones own eyes, and they are oiled by the authors own blood; sheathing that style is an entirely new level of pain.” -Shy Willow

Lately I’ve been listening to several podcasts written by two authors, Joseph Fink and Jeffery Cranor, that I admire. They have taken their creativity a spilled it out in their own very unique style in various forms. One of their podcasts describes what being an artist means. It also explains how an artist gets to their own voice; involving a great deal of failure.

Adding to my own personal voice is a physical challenge that I am finally learning to embrace. A Mayo Clinic doctor explained what my condition is, and some very valuable ways of helping to cope with it. One thing that he taught me was how neurological pathways are created and rerouted in the brain.

The brain of a person like myself can be seen in an MRI to be different than that of a person without the challenge. The physician told me that I can purposely help my body create new neurological pathways. There are many ways that I am supposed to do that.

This difficult physical challenge has hindered my voice. One of the ways that I can get it back on track is also a way to help develop those new pathways. That is to practice. I need to challenge myself again. I need to accept that I am going to have a lot of failures but that each one is helping me to grow.

Reteaching My Brain

So what am I getting at? I can help my body by failing. The type of failure Thomas Edison is famous for. Taking my passion for life long learning and embracing it again along with failing, I am reteaching my brain to do things that I have not been able to for quite some time. Reteaching my brain with a focus on things that I’m passionate about is not vain, it is living. I’ve felt out of touch with my life for a long time.

Mashing all of this together has given me a bit of hope and aim to regain what I feel I have lost. Continue to learn, continue to fail and continue to fight for your own unique self, the one that takes all of your education and experience and adds it to who you already are. Don’t let those challenges change the essence of who you are as an individual.

~Sensually Yours~
Shy Willow

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