Rolodex of Life

I remember the sound of the cards as the wheel turned. Fast or slow they made a fantastic sound of knowledge and admirable work. The Rolodex is a tool that sat on nearly every secretary’s desk. They were utilized in homes, schools and many other industrial facilities. Sadly, they seem to be an art quickly fading. However the Rolodex seems to reflect life.

Rolodex cards were unique. Many had business cards taped or glued on. Several cards had layers of white-out spread out with the visible lines of the sticky brush. Each card held a different person, note or experience meant to be recalled at a later time.  Like a library, a Rolodex has a unique smell, one that brings tasks to mind as soon as you sit at your desk.

Sometimes the cards would get stuck together and you’d miss it over and over until you were able to separate the cards. I loved the Rolodex at the businesses that I worked. I rolled through the cards and saw the work that I had put into my job and the company that I proudly worked for.

Rabbit Hole Memories

My mom’s cards I especially loved. There were a couple of times that I got to “snoop” through her contacts. Her handwriting is beautiful. She doesn’t think so, but when I flipped through her Rolodex I knew instantly which ones were hers. It reminds me of the taste of the coffee she drank at her desk, the same she sat with during football games and Nascar races.

Recently I was struck by a squirrel moment that lead me down a rabbit hole. Often times we relate such holes as a monstrous thing. However, sometimes they are good or even neutral. Still sorting out what I have found I realize that as I slipped down into this hole memories hit me much like a Rolodex flipping through cards.

Happy memories flashed just in time for the next memory to grasp my attention. This continued and I felt pressure fill my chest and lungs. It really is quite amazing the things that you find when you start that process of chasing a memory. My breathing seemed to be able to sync with each card that flashed in front of me. Each breath a card of my life.

The Rolodex of Life

It is a scientifically known concept that memories become attached to our senses. Sight, scent, feel, sound and taste all harbor experiences, good and bad. I was taught how to fall into those rabbit holes in a safe manner which encouraged my memory and helped me process those memories in a healthy way. Still that process takes me off guard at times.

Today and yesterday I have flipped through a section of those cards that I have not seen for a very long time. I can say that I have enjoyed the challenge of the ride. There have been great moments and difficult ones too.

I hope that I can be a happy card in the wheel of someone’s notes. Seeing my own cards, I know that I am a card of pain and perhaps regret in some peoples’ Rolodex. Those I hope can be forgiven or at the very least, easily skipped over.

My cards bring up emotions. Emotions attached to senses. The sight of the memory is the simple part of the card, but it is what it represents that makes it so valuable. That small piece of memory which is meant to spark off other memories and emotions; conquests, failure, shame, joy, pride and peace.

I had the opportunity to see a number of cards. Now I realize I have a lot of work to do, but at the same time, saw a great deal of life.

~Sensually Yours~
Shy Willow

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