Why on earth would you water a rock? It is my job to water rocks. No one else needs to or should water rocks.
You chose to water a rock and told it to grow. You expected it to grow. Your confidence so beautiful and reassuring, yet I still laughed that you thought you could do such a thing. How funny that a person would ever see me and think that I could be more than the version of me that they see.
A rock trying to hide. A plain rock which people see from different sides each seeing a different picture of me. You stood there watering me, “grow rock, you are more than you show”.
After time I grew in size, but at the same time the outside of my hard granite self, started to change. People began to wish to see a bit more, on the side in which they stood. I wanted to hide, no one should wish to know me more, and it is my job to care for them.
“Grow” you cooed. It is my job to melt those around me. It is my life to reach out to those rocks all around me. It is who I am to love everyone, and I am proud that I can do that. I am fortunate to be able to look at those rocks and see the energy they are. Why would you ask me to grow?
Slowly the colors come through and I realize that it is actually ok to be loved, to truly be loved. It is ok to feel the warmth of the rocks around me, and enjoy it.
“You’ve got this, Grow”. He said with a smile and deep encouragement. With patience and time. With reassurance and tears. I broke open. I cracked to reveal a geode of a new color to each side of myself, each person saw a different color.
The break hurt!!!I’m open, uncovered. WHY would you do this to me? Why would you expose something that I’ve never given to anyone, let along myself? Why would you break open something that I’ve never expected, that I never wanted to share. Why would you melt away the protected layer I felt safe in?
Moving forward I continue to understand more and more of me. I’ve seen myself grow. Yet, “Grow, you’re doing great, but there is more” is what I hear whispered from the man who chose to water a rock. Why would you do that? Why would you water something that may not have a center any different than the outside? How did you see?
While I still squirm with the idea that people can love me the way that I love them, I’ve grown a bit past that. “Goodness, you’ve taken a huge leap!!! Grow, there is more”. I can love in a new way! I can find another person who whispers to me. I can seek to be happy beyond my accepting the love of those around me. Those who warm to the color that they can see.
I can step up. I can grow. I can step outside of the level of love I never thought I could breech. I can grow, explore, enjoy and need! I CAN NEED.
“I’m proud he says, but don’t stop! There is more”.