2 Boxes

There are few people who can completely say they have a perfect relationship. Who have complete understanding not only of their own relationship but that of others. Plenty of counselors have experienced not only marital problems but relationship decay. It is a prevalent part of our society, but is this really something new? Perhaps with the stigma being fought these pains are simply brought into the light. Perhaps the difficulties are being shared so that their is social help for those who can relate and lean on each other. It really would be no different than support groups for alcohol abuse, diabetes or mental health.
There are plenty of studies done on the break down of the family unit pursued in the past decade. Many stating that the break down of those family units have led our country to rises in criminal activity and the raising replication of broken families. There are new terms in society to define the specific and unique assembly of the family dynamic.
It isn’t just the family unit that suffers from changes. Dating has come with a slew of challenges and frustrations. The way people relate to each other has completely changed in the past two decades. The days that building a relationship in a traditional ways have changed to relationships that grow and maintain in an entirely foreign way.


Going into a relationship people always have some sort of expectations of themselves, and the other person. As things grow and ease into a groove those expectations take shape and form. The goal and hope is to align those expectations and build a path together moving forward which utilizes both boxes of expectations.
There are always bumps and boulders along the way. Those they say build and strengthen a relationship. Most of the time they absolutely do, even when things are already difficult. However along the way some of those hurts and pains are disregarded by the other because to them, those pains are not apart of that box of expectations. Those forgotten things at more weight to the box of the person who is at the moment suffering, make it difficult to keep up with the other.
In an attempt to ease their pain by working together the other still does not understand that weight they gave the other box, the other person. Each time a bump or pebble on the road is not worked through the expectations shape themselves to accommodate those changes, the pains and the good times.
Eventually as the weight becomes overwhelming both boxes stop on the road. Each trying hard to pull each other out of their boxes. The expectations still there, each evolved from their struggles along the way. Only to find out that they were both pulling on the wrong side of the others box.
Stuck, hurt and hopeless feeling the two options are to unload parts of yourself and your love, dumping on the ground only to have a ruined experience, or to start again.
The other is to set fire to the box. Set fire to the expectations and development on the original story. Neither road are guaranteed to fix the pain. Neither will ease the devastation felt. Sometimes it is one partner that must start that fire knowing that it is what is best, knowing that no matter what happens they will forever belong to the relationship that they had started. Knowing that no matter what they took a step to free the other person from the pain they gave them.
Relationships are a part of life. Whether they be friends, family or lovers. Some have the blessing of being a twin burning flame, some soul mates, some friends for life and others friends found on the path that you may feel that you’ve known forever.
No one knows the correct way to navigate any given relationship. How will you go forward?

~Sensually Yours~
Shy Willow

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