To Be A Mom

There is that well know concept that later in life you miraculously realize how amazing your mother and father are, and there is a certain amount of guilt for you years of adolescence. Ironically that is absolutely a part of reaching those mature phases in human development.

How, though, can we truly related to what it means to be a mom until we get there? How does a parent understand the other parents struggle with their particular bond to there children?

I still find myself at points in my aging realizing how much my mom and dad fought through to give me better than what they themselves had. I find myself trying to better understand these choices we make as mothers.

I have read a good deal of poems about mothers and memes with cute little heartfelt quips. Of course I’ve read the ones where we try to express the funny and frustrating times being a mother in order to help support our fellow moms.

At one point I remember my mom telling me that each of us kids took a portion of her brain with us when we were born. I can absolutely relate to that as I feel as though my memory greatly suffers along with other things. An article published suggested that we are not loosing our minds, we space out and mix up our children’s names because of our need to multitask and because the love that we see in them puts them all in the same category in our minds. That nature concept is what helps our wild parenting animals to greater protect their offspring.

I believe if I were to say that I had given a portion of myself to my children besides the DNA factors of body and mental likenesses I’d say that each one of them truly took a piece of me with them. My heart has been broken into three and they each carry a third of that heart with them.

While I do not need for them to understand that and I do not need for people to understand what it feels like to be a mother, it certainly is a miraculous thing. So when you see that mom who seems so angry with their offspring try hard not to judge the brief moment that you see them. And when you see the mother who seems to have the perfectly straight line of ducklings don’t forget she fights a fight everyday too.

We all get choices presented to us every day that will shape our future and the future of our children. Not one of us will have all of the answers all of the time. We may see things we have been through in others, however we have the choice to judge or lend a hand even if that is just a hug of support.

My girlfriend inspired this writing today she simply reminded me that “they do not know what it is like to be a mother”. It reminded me of the times I absolutely did not understand the things that my mother did. It reminds me of the times I’ve done things that I now absolutely do not understand. However the one thing that rings true is that internal drive “to be a mother” can be instinctual, can be painful, can create fallout, can bring people together, can be tough love, is self sacrificing, can be the most beautiful gift a person could ever be blessed with.

To my mother, my girlfriend and to all the mothers out there, we know what it is like to be a mother!!! We know. It may never entirely add up, but that is not the driving force.

~Sensually Yours~
Shy Willow

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