Good afternoon lovelies!
The warmth of the sunshine pouring through a window gracing me with its life giving force is enough to inspire all on its own. Today though it’s not inspiration, it is medication. I sit here at this lovely table, in a beautifully and warmly lit kitchen, waiting for the sun ray’s to work deep within me for some healing.
It is easy to picture authors before me suffering at their windows the same dark pains. The well trod stories of authors, and artists alike leaving the light too early, choosing instead to embrace the night. Some of the artists and authors I admire the most struggled a painful struggle which balanced their creative energies.
I have told so very many of the beautiful souls who have found themselves drawn to me, that they are the energy of the world! They are the souls that though they struggle with social awkwardness, and unique intelligence, they are the energy that creates. I have had the privileged of meeting so many of these glorious people, who in one way or another were told that they were not good enough, that they don’t fit normalcy. Such a heartbreak to take these magnificent works of art and shame them for being misunderstood by critics who refuse to look at them from the correct light.
These beautiful creatures over the years of have come into my life and poured their hearts out to me. I owe them a world of gratitude for teaching me to be a better listener, something I still need to work a bit more.
There was a lesson they have been teaching me, that over the years I have been missing… over, and over, and over. No matter how many times I have taken a teary soul in my arms or into my heart and joyfully told them they are beautiful, I’ve never done the same for myself.
Why can I sit at the window and let the sun hit me and make me feel a bit better? Why after months of exhaustion can I still hold on to someones tears, but I will not allow myself to decipher my own salty pleas for help? The truth to this mystery is actually starting to unravel.
“One truth I have found is that I AM NOT NORMAL! ”
In that truth I want to stay in the light, to do that I have a lot of healing to do. Some may be in the sunshine, some will be talking to friends and family, but a great deal will be creating. I have to create. I have to stop being afraid of what people will think of my “normal” because I know if it were anyone else I was talking to I’d remind them that normalcy is a human construct.
The joy of windows and perspectives are that they allow for a different look at the art pretty much every time you see it or read it. Just because you may have had an ill opinion of a painting once, doesn’t necessarily mean you will if you see it in a new light. Although we are taught how important first impressions are, shouldn’t we also be taught that we are just as much in control of those first impressions as the person we are viewing?
What about that impression we have of ourselves? Is it time we saw ourselves in a new light?