In a brief moment standing in a gentle embrace, one glance… one inward look.
For the remainder of the day I spent the time wondering how in that moment I could see so much. As children we become acclimated to the concept of having ones life flash before them. Reading about those moments it is often mind boggling how different, yet how very similar those experiences can be from person to person.
Those moments litter the planet in situations that oftentimes shake our philanthropic selves to the very core. There are those beautiful glimpses in time when that very flash changes forever the course of an individuals life, and inevitably the life of those surrounding the individual.
While waltzing an elegant dance which involves sound and rhythm, but in the end no shuffling of feet, there was that one glance which led to that one inward look in which I saw my own eye.
The lifetime I lived in that millisecond reminded me of a giant portion of my life that I had successfully hushed. So much of my energy went into fighting, protecting, and defending.
In one brief second, one dance, one inward look that mind you, I did not purposely provoke, I was taught a lesson that was too long in the works.
Introversion is not lack of confidence.
Too long I have poured myself into an energy that was not my own. Owning my energy was an enormous step, but seeing myself for what I am was a shock to my senses.
Why on earth I felt the need to put that on this blog, is simple. Over the course of the past couple of years as I have found the things that I’ve needed to start to pull myself back to whole again, the major energy has been understanding passion.
Sensualism in definition most commonly is assumed to refer to sex, however entails so much more about how we relate to the world around us, how we feel it, essentially how we experience it.
So in that regard Yes- I write about sex. I also write about life, and how life is felt, how it tastes, how energy pulses between people, how life feeds and wanes, and how our grandparents experienced sex.
While I have a fun idea as to what may have caused my moment to occur… What matters is what I do with it. What do I do with the sensation, the beauty, the freedom? I can certainly run from it, or lock it up and continue on as I have in months past, or I can get caught up in asking why instead of focusing on the sunrise, perhaps I can shake off the confidence and go back to hiding in my introverted box afraid that having passion and an opinion may just hurt another person.
I think I’ll stay outside of the box.