I Was Not Disappointed

Sitting here at this restaurant is both my favorite place to be, and my worst nightmare. The atmosphere is alright, classy and operated by an upbeat staff and management team. While I sit, I know on several occasions throughout the week he is going to walk in. He will be meeting with clients, friends, and even one of the women who have appreciated his looks the way I do. That body that sets mine on fire, that smile that is so damn contagious I would stare at him patiently waiting for it to emerge, looking an absolute obsessive fool just to see its purity. Yet, when he walks by so does my broken heart and rekindled pain. 

I knew better. I knew in the morning it was going to hurt. I knew that two people open, and free, sharing and blissfully calm was a recipe for disaster. I knew from the pleasure there was going to be absolute pain. I was not disappointed. 

Playing together and pushing aside all care, even the ugly truths were stunningly beautiful. How could two hearts bared completely open yield anything but ravishing art? We painted, the both of us, on one canvas the picture of beauty. I was not disappointed.

In his arms I knew I would never feel this again. I knew it while it happened. As he drifted into the sweetest and most peaceful sleep my mind did not want to let go of a moment I knew I would never get back again. It felt perfect. As my heart fell, letting go, and finally trusting to be free, his stayed frozen in time and pain. He waits there still as I plunge into a dark, dismal abyss forever reaching for that light he gave me. I knew this would hurt. I was NOT disappointed. 

– Shy Willow
~Sensually Yours~
Shy Willow

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