Daily Observances6th- Saxophone Day
6th- Election Day ~ US
8th- Cook Bold and Pungent Day
10th- United States Marine Corps Birthday
11th- Veteran's Day
13th- World Kindness Day
14th- Young Reader's Day
17th- World Peace Day
4th Thursday of the month- Thanksgiving
30th- Call in Well Day
Week Long ObservancesHealth Information and Technology Month
Medical Staff Services Week
World Kindness Week
American Education Week
Lung Cancer Awareness Week
Month Long ObservancesDiabetes Awareness Month
Native American Heritage Month
Peanut Butter Lover Month
Vegan Awareness Month
Birthstone: Topaz or Citrine
Flower: Chrysanthemum "stands for optimism and cheerfulness"
Zodiacs: Scorpio and Sagittarius
And because I couldn't Help it...
How To Change Your Oil
Joke Courtesy of ButlerwebsWomen:
- Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since the last oil change.
- Drink a cup of coffee.
- 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.Men:
- Go to O'Reilly auto parts and write a check for 50 dollars for oil, filter, oil lift (AKA kitty litter), hand cleaner and scented tree.
- Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking it back to O'Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.
- Open a beer and drink it.
- Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
- Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
- In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
- Place drain pan under engine.
- Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
- Give up and use crescent wrench.
- Unscrew drain plug.
- Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in process.
- Clean up.
- Have another beer while oil is draining.
- Look for oil filter wrench.
- Give up; poke oil filter with Phillips screwdriver and twist it off.
- Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.
- Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car.
- Throw oil lift (AKA kitty litter) on oil spilled during step 18.
- Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.
- Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
- Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of clean oil to gasket first.
- Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
- Remember drain plug from step 11.
- Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
- Hurry to replace drain plug before the whole quart of fresh oil drains onto floor.
- Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame.
- Bang head on floor board in reaction.
- Begin cussing fit.
- Throw wrench.
- Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December(1992) in the left boob.
- Clean up; apply Band-Aid to knuckle.
- Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.
- Lower car from jack stands.
- Accidentally crush one of the jack stands.
- Move car back to apply more oil lift (AKA kitty litter) to fresh oil spilled during step 23.
- Drive car
~ Thanks for Stopping by!!
~ Jenn aka. Mom
Special Thanks to listings in Wikipedia, Daily & Monthly Holidays, Butler Webs