Have you ever seen the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days staring Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey? If so you may be familiar with a portion of the 2003 film that showcases Hudson’s character trying desperately to get dumped by her love interest of a mere few days. This particular seen focuses on her showing up to men’s poker night uninvited, followed by swiping their pizza and offering cucumber sandwiches, demanding their cigars be put out, and wiping her man’s nose. Although there were other equally intrusive bits thrown in there, the scene portrayed a truly difficult woman.The two star crossed characters first met with Hudson’s character showing her witty and charismatic self. The extreme change in personality evolved in a matter of hours. Throughout our own individual lives we endure experiences that leave us forever changed; some for the better, some not. Throughout our relationships we have to choose to work those changes or to adjust the relationship.
I am often amazed by the evolution of relationships. Some bonds seem to be able to endure terrible feats, intense strain, incredible distances, and often times unrealistic situations. Of course on the opposite end of the spectrum are those relationships you would think could endure the heat of change, but they crumble at the first signs of instability or shifting. I really enjoyed the couple of brief classes that I took that focused on sociology; I find people to be fascinating, as well as many other descriptions.
However, it is never comfortable to be on the weak side of change. Far from pleasant is being a part of a relationship that has weak links, even more uncomfortable is knowing that you are the change placing stress on those links. You can baby the links, you can try to fortify them, but in the end you have to wait and see how they cope and how much stress they really can handle.Change is inevitable and if that change must be made to better yourself or position in life, often times it is completed while we hold our breath waiting to see what kind of damage we leave around us. I am not suggesting that a person cause wreck and ruin without first weighing the cost to themselves or others. However, we may find ourselves in a time of change, where we feel like Hudson’s character upsetting a balance like a bull in a china cupboard, but we have to wait it out hoping we get to where it is we want to be.
Over the past year I have been able to relate to that particular movie scene several times. Our family does not eat the same way that we used to, we do not eat the way our parents raised us, and we avoid certain foods because of allergies or other health benefits. Get-togethers with our friends and family have been awkward and difficult making me feel very similar to the cucumber sandwich clip. At times I find myself feeling the need to defend our decisions which makes me feel a bit defensive when really I should not be. I know that our family and close friends have what it takes to make it through the shifting period, and that in the end we will come out stronger.Although I feel like a really difficult woman right now, I know that the changes we are making will benefit our family’s health for years to come. It is certainly amazing how changes that have taken place over a several year period of time can actually feel like it happened overnight.
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*originally published on A Mom's Handbook. com